There is a beautiful path where I go running. It’s really kind of into the woods. Running is both frustrating and exhilarating. It’s sad that the exhilaration comes only when you are done with the frustration.
The more I work, I more I realize how futile it really is. Somehow, the concept of putting people together in small cubicles and telling them to work together to make someone else lots of money has never really caught on. I wonder why.
There’s a festival going on near where I stay. Temples all light. The road lit up with stringed lights. Priests mutter all day hymns that no one ever really understand. And the Gods lap it all up. Who doesn’t want to be a God? All that fun. All that adoration. And all that power. Just pretend to be mysterious and you are on the way.
Most of my friends are busy with their lives. I am busy with my life. It makes me wonder if life is being busy or whether we are too busy being busy so that we can pretend to be busy so that no one knows if we are not busy.
I tried to meditate today. I really did. But the breath was too busy.
Three dogs came running at me today. Two pranced around wildly. The third looked hopefully at getting a pat. So, I thought dogs have it simple. Either they bark and snarl or they lick and drool. Why can’t we do the same? Why do we camouflage our feelings and affections into love, hatred, anger, jealousy, envy, despair, depression, worry, anxiety, indifference, fear, disgust, surprise, kindness, anger or pity and more? Just bark and snarl or lick and drool.
I cooked cabbage in garlic and butter. Then added pasta thinking I may need to eat more. That sums up my day. I think I need to do more. But my life seems to circle around, barking and snarling, dripping and drooling, but never quite moving.