Do you ever get this feeling at the end of a full day that you just have done nothing at all and you have no words to write at all? Yet that day would be so full of things to do and surprises to be had like ice creams by the cone. Today was one such day.
After yet another late night. I am not sure at all if the late night talks had an effect. There are times when I can sit back and watch and there are times when you tell things gently and there are the times when neither helps. During such a time every spasm in your body works itself into anger. My anger of last night, well, not good for my system – anger never is – and I like I said I even don’t believe that the person in question might even mean his new-found awareness. He has been talking far too much about lack of awareness for 4 years in his life and this sudden realization into the depths of his mind is a bit hard to fathom. Maybe the man might be speaking the truth. Maybe his version of the truth. Ain’t all truth like that? There is no clear coffee or tea at the end of the cup. Just empty tea leaves floating around. This person’s words to me are like that right now. Empty tea leaves. Someday he may fill it up again and the teacup might brim with green tea. For now, prudence and logic go a long way before acceptance.
Ruby came again today and took Birdie and I to this really far out park. The bus ride alone was around 25 minutes. And the park was disappointing. It was supposed to be a lake but it was nothing more than a glorified swimming pool. It reminded me also of an IT campus coz there the whole park was set in a very obvious industrial area of the town. The sun was scorching down and I could feel my energy dissipate faster than Dispirin. Clearly, the sun and I don’t get along. It makes me sick, nauseous and drags every last drop of energy I have in my body. I get irritable and start fantasizing about a cold room with the AC whirring and chilled glasses of Coke by the side. My mind shifts into zombie mode. My feet seem rooted to the ground. Every step becomes an agony of endurance. Few people understand my despair under the sun. And I feel sad about depriving Birdie her frolic under the sun she loves. Yet, perhaps no one understands what it is like to have tiredness flood itself into every pore of your body, leaving every muscle aching to just fall on to the ground in divine defeat. I can’t fight the sun. I gave up the fight long ago. But its ghosts continue to haunt me.
And we went to Sukhothai – the flea market. Did I say flea market? Excuse me, going by the prices there, it should really be up-market. I didn’t find my shorts. But the three of us did find a quaint shop called “Coco Handicrafts” that had products from Sanya! Both Birdie and I bought shell watches and Birdie gifted herself with an egg. Erm, I don’t mean that the way you think. But she bought this really cute painted egg. The secret is that the egg contains a seed. Gosh, now this is really starting to sound gross but I shall nobly plod on in the interests of posterity. Well, the thing is that you go to break the top of the egg…and water the seed till in a week’s time it sprouts a plant! Talk of Chinese ingenuity!
The egg was duly broken by Birdie in a solemn ceremony right here on my desk. Piggy and Hero watched on in aghast silence. Lotus looked on approvingly, I think. And I…will wait and watch if the egg produces a plant. Waiting for Seed-Pod. 😀